Entendre
by Saya Moonshadow
Summary: It never occurred to him until the moment he tried to apologize what a double entendre his favorite saying really was.


**For the guys at the pairing thread on the 9 Forum, particularly my fellow 1x2 fans 8D Don't worry, though, I made it so that their relationship can be taken either way XD**

**Enjoyyyyy~!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**9**_** D: Shane Acker does!**** Nor do I own the lyrics to "Far From Home"; they belong to Five Finger Death Punch. So, in short, I own nothing except for this fic. Le sigh~**

**Summary: It never occurred to him until the moment he tried to apologize what a double entendre his favorite saying really was.**

**Entendre  
By: Bahamut PURE**

_"Another day in this carnival of souls  
__Another night's ends, end as quickly as it goes  
__The memories are shadows; ink on the page  
__And I can't seem to find my way home_

_And it's almost like  
__Your heaven's trying everything  
__Your heaven's trying everything  
__To keep me out_

_All the places I've been and things I've seen  
A million stories that made up a million shattered dreams  
The faces of people I'll never see again  
And I can't seem to find my way home..."_

* * *

I'm scared, 2.

I'm so scared I can hardly believe it. I can't believe this is happening. Where did all my hard work go? Why is this happening?

Curse it all, 2! Why aren't you here? Why did you have to go and get your soul taken by this thing? Why did you take me seriously? It's so bloody typical of you, 2...the one order I was almost hoping you would disobey...you obeyed.

The Fabrication Machine is coming, 2. It's coming for us. For me, for 7, for 3 and 4, for 9. It's already taken 8, 5, 6, and you. And now it's going to have to take one more in order for all this to end. 9 is determined to be that sacrifice, and I'm going to have to stand by and watch it all happen again.

I don't want to watch it happen again. I don't want to die, and I don't want them to die either. But I can't say it. I can't bring myself to tell him not to do it, because...it's what I'd do in his place. Were it me in danger, you know I'd let it happen.

But you didn't let it happen. I remember that...funny, I'd almost forgotten before how you saved my life that day. I never paid you back, did I? I never even thanked you. But I was grateful. I should have said it. I should have said something, but it's no use now, because you're bloody not here to say it to!

My hand hurts, 2. It's mangled, and without you or 5 here, it can't be fixed. Damned if I'm going to let 9 or 7 take a look at it, and the twins...I doubt they know how. But it hurts, and the pain only scares me all the more.

Oh God, if 9's plan fails, then we will all die. All the ones who I thought were dead are still alive, and the ones I thought alive are now dead. Contradictions. Too many of them to count over the last few days.

We're going to die. I'm going to die, but I don't know if I can face you after what I did to you in the end.

I'm so s...

You were always so kind to everyone around you, and they loved you for it. Even I respected you - I just never said it. I tried to make myself hate you, and maybe I succeeded a little, but now that I think about it, I didn't succeed at all, did I? I was always so afraid something would happen - maybe the others would decide to toss me out and have you lead them in my stead, but that never happened.

Maybe it should have happened. All of this is my fault. I alienated 7 and caused her and the twins to leave. I told you to leave and not come back until you found something worthwhile...but didn't you get it?

_I told you to come back!_

I wanted to be rid of you. I wanted to want that, but even though I tried so hard, I couldn't help but hope that you'd come limping back in with that worthwhile thing you found, and things would go back to normal.

You knew that, didn't you? You knew what I wanted when you set out. You knew I made you go so that you would die, but you also knew that I, at least a little, wanted you to come home.

I hated 9 for that, you know. I hated him for setting out to find you, and I hated him for making me hope that everything would be alright.

What I hated him for most, I think, was how he explained what happened to me. He told me about 7 killing the Beast - how, for at least a few precious minutes, we were completely safe. And all I can think of now is that I'd be so incredibly happy...

I'm afraid, 2. I'm afraid of what's about to happen. You wouldn't be, I think...you were always brave. Too brave. Too reckless. You forgot to be scared too often, and I hated how worried that made me. I hate how I see so much of you in 9 that I can't help but worry about him too - and I don't want him to die. Whatever he's done, he doesn't deserve to die.

His actions were all an accident. Accidents are forgivable. My actions, on the other hand? I did what I did on purpose. I don't deserve to be forgiven, even though all of this is my fault and not his, but I just can't tell him that. I can't tell him that everything is my fault and not his.

7 is just as scared as I am now, 2. Perhaps even more so. He isn't even dead yet, and she's already grieving. She is about to lose someone who has become precious to her, so that can be expected...

Why is it us that must suffer? I remember asking you about this when we were younger, before the others came, when it was just you and me, desperately trying to survive. The humans were the ones who caused the war to happen, and they are the ones who caused the machines to go insane and destroy the land.

Why do we have to suffer for what they did? Why did _you_ have to die because of the foolishness of a bunch of dead humans?

For a split second, 2, I don't see 9 standing there in front of the Fabrication Machine. Instead, I see you. This is just what you'd do in this situation. He really does act like you...so much...

He doesn't deserve death any more than you did. I should be the one out there, I...

Yes, that's the truth, isn't it? _I_ should be the one preparing to die, not 9. That's what you'd want, isn't it? You'd want me to give him a chance to live. You'd want me to give him the chance that the humans never gave us.

"They left us nothing..."

The Machine's eye is closing, 2...

"Why should we have to right their wrongs?"

2...

"Sometimes..."

Funny...I never realized...just how much of a double entendre that was before...

"_1_ must be sacrificed."

The Machine lashes out at 9, and I am in front of him.

Hey, 2...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...

* * *

**END.**

* * *

**Author's Note: So, uh...what did you think? Good? Bad? So-so?**

**Well, regardless, the story behind this one is because I have always been a little miffed that we never got to see 1 apologize to 2 for what he did. I always felt that that scene should have been **_**somewhere**_** in the movie...but anyway, here it is! All in 1's head, of course XD**

**Please tell me what you think of it!**


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